My empathic journey

Growing up I was really introverted and shy. I would rather stay inside than to interact with the world. And as the years went by I almost forgot why I behaved in this way. In my teen years this intensified. I got diagnosed with Lyme disease and had little to no interaction with the world for a couple of years. I was physically unable to function, I could barely walk and had waves of impaired vision and hearing. Still the emotional essence of these manifestations were not clear to me.

What is an empath?

Being emphatic is to sense, feel or know the emotional and mental state of your surroundings. In this lens of reality I have experienced my life. And for the last nineteen years I was sure that everything I was feeling was my own. The bitter realization of feeling other peoples vibes in your body and mind is pretty scary at first. And my first instinct was to withdraw from the world. And so I did. For an entire year all I did was soak myself in the world of the ”esoteric” and ”spiritual” . The funny thing is that I had not realized that I realized something :). This was all going on a unconscious level permeating through my life. Somewhere deep down I knew that I was scattered and not myself. I was seventeen at that time, and decided to remember who I am.

And so the journey started that I am still embarked on today.

Discerning energy

Knowing myself is the greatest knowledge I have ever attained. For it allows pathways to unfold and the knowing of which to take. But how did I learn who I am? Well answering this question rivals me with the greatest philosophers and sages of all time. So lets not, let me instead give a indication of how it could go. For every single human being walks a unique path of life. For me? I learned the hard way, I went through extreme dark events and found intense light. That drained me, a lot. All of my energy went through this amazing process of becoming a better person.

Until one day my illusion shattered so harshly and intense right before my eyes that I realized shit, what the fuck am I doing. And so I started living. Striving to be present in the moment, to enjoy and not judge the many faces that are within me. Yet strive to balance them and enjoy it. And the fruits of these processes is the deep knowing what is authentic in me.

How can I detect energy from others?

Ask yourself this, and be honest with yourself. Am I in any environment where I feel different then before?

I shall give you a example of myself. I was the guy that everyone went to for advice on their problems. I usually gave them the best advice I could come up with and then they left. But what happened in the energy was something different. They did not really seek advice but wanted someone that could relate with them. Unaware of my emphatic capabilities I would unconsciously accept their feelings as my own. Leaving me to deal with them.

When I became aware of this interaction, my first instinct was to go in victim mode. Acting like I had no control over it. It took sometime to see that this is a survival mechanism. And It could be lead back to my childhood where I retracted and distanced in order to protect myself.

Connecting the dots

I realized that I have an ingrained believe that the world is against me. And that all I could do is learn to cope with it. This believe protected my childlike essence but kept it far away from my life. This made me very emotional, something I normally could only feel for others. That is not easy to swallow. And the life of loneliness that I lived. This is one of my greatest teachers. For now I am opening up to emotional connections. Being in the state of allowance and gentleness.

–B